Dream of a Time

The end of the horizon
Where sky meets the earth
There lies an untouched haven
A land of rebirth

A feeling beyond romance
To great to bestow
To feel as if in a trance
Not many would know

Rainbows long gone and faded
Return to live here
Beings who felt once jaded
Have shed their last tear

A euphoric existence
A place of deep sleep
Without passive resistance
Good karma you’ll reap

Utopia is waiting
For when you seek it
No more unprovoked hating
Real when you make it

Call this art?

This is a picture I drew and yes I like to draw. Unfortunately I totally screwed up putting it on here properly, but, yeah this is my art. Enjoy.

Just a little bored

Well this has been fun. What a day I worked alone for 9 hours and next to no customers... fun. So I have a rant and some poems on here... no songs because none of them are good enough yet (the lyrics are somewhat dissatisfying) and as for stories… those can wait, but I can add my random comments now. This is what happens when I'm stuck alone at work. I start to write exactly what’s on my mind like my internal monologue it's pretty interesting... here it goes.

Yay! Here I am once again writing to myself about nothing. Damn I wish I had lined paper! Cause writing on blank is so hard... I've written 2 sentences and already it's all crooked. Now evidentially if I had something better to do, I'd do it. But I don't so I'm writing what I'm thinking, it's like your internal monologue on paper except I don't think this slow... only now... or when I'm tired. Ahhhh! I'm frozen! And my elbow hurts yet I still have another 6 hours here so I may as well get used to it. After 2 hours I've already resorted to writing to myself and drawing pomegranate juice, (which was delicious by the way, just murder to your enamel). Damn it I wish I knew where the thermostat is! It's snowing out and like 10 degrees in here... I'm going to make coffee. YAY that's better I just made a small cup of heaven…. Vanilla latte mix + caramel latte mix + hazelnut hot chocolate = WoOTfUlnEsS!!! Unfortunately it’s too hot to drink because I just burned my mouth on it. I say burned my mouth, because there are other things in your mouth that can get burnt… other than your tongue. Wow 3 fire trucks just drove by. *sings* The lunatic is in my head… That is a good song… Dark side of the Moon… The lunatic is in my head… that sounds like an interesting image. I’m going to try and draw that sometime. *Shivers* Ok that’s it I’m going to hunt down that fucking thermostat if it’s the last thing I do!!! (20 min later… literally) Ok I don’t think this place has central heating which is unlikely cause…ummmm…. Yeah I see vents. I successfully found the alarm, the water heater and the breaker box… most of which were in the restroom…but no thermostat. I feel like a moron *stares blankly at empty pomegranate juice bottle then proceeds to chug coffee* OMFG!!! I found the thermostat!!! *Does celebration dance cause there’s no one here to see* There I set it to 23 degrees… It was at 13. YAY!!! I feel better already *huddles by vent* I want chocolate!!! Ok if one more person references my name to “Josie and the Pussycats” there’s going to be hell to pay! Sorry I just had a customer (5th person I’ve seen in 3 and a half hours). And he asked my name, I said Josi and he says “Oh like Josie and the Pussy Cats?” I say… unfortunately. Ok I still want chocolate, but I’m trying to conserve it so I’ll get gum instead. Yay! I have something to chew on… That (now that I’ve reread it) looks so wrong. That’s a talent, to make something so innocent dirty. .. And here I am alone once again, now to have a fabric and air freshener party, cause it smells like furnace in here. Yay I have sexy Korean numerals they’re fun to draw. Pump up the music and drown out the orchestra, not that I don’t like orchestral music it’s just I’ve heard this same CD for the past day and a half straight. I need to change it eventually I guess, but for now headphones work. WOW that hour flew by fast! I just had the most amazing discussion with this woman who’s an ex-English teacher (retired). We talked about literature, film, art, music…the music and motives behind the sexual revolution, and how people are so uptight about their sexuality and the way their body looks… it was a very interesting conversation. I’d now like to take this opportunity to show I agree with her by stating “I’m on my 5th coffee and eating chips”. That’s one thing though… you never know who you’re going to meet. It is now 2:20pm I’ve been here since 9:00 am and I have had 10 customers… which isn’t bad considering that yesterday the grand total was 9. MY MOUTH IS ON FIRE!!!!!!! But damn it jalapeno chips are so freaking good. Ok it’s still snowing; I wish it had snowed before Christmas… not after cause white Christmases are so much better than brown ones with chunks of ice. YAY COKE!!! I have had waaaayyyy too much caffeine. I WANT CHOCOLATE NOW!!! There I gave into temptation. *swallows chocolate* I sicken myself. I love these chocolates! Not only are they dark (the best kind) but they have written instructions on how to open them! “TO OPEN ~ Lift flap and tear at end ---> LMAO! What is that? You think that I can’t find a way to open a chocolate? I mean if I couldn’t rip it I’d use scissors or a knife or something. 3:00pm now I only have 3 more hours…yay… Ahhh! The boredom is slowly creeping back… I will not be suppressed, or depressed for that matter although the thought of walking for an hour in canvas shoes through the snow isn’t exactly the happiest thought. I’ll just walk fast. Just to smite me it started snowing harder. I’m BORED!!! I want my sax or guitar or something, something other than classical violin in a stereo. If I only had an instrument here, I’d be so amused. I mean I could write a story or something but I’m not really in the mood. LMAO I feel like a scribe narrating my boring life. If I’d only come up with something insightful, or at bare minimum intelligent to say *sight* apparently I did the other night but I was talking about a printer and was fairly intoxicated. Yes I just contradicted myself. I think. More like made myself look like a jackass. SHIT!!! I hate working alone. When am I supposed to go to the washroom huh? What if someone comes in and I’m not there? This is why I normally work with at least one more person. There I went to the washroom and nothing bad happened… I tried to call Amanda and she had like 3 minutes so yeah that staved off my boredom for a total of 10 min. I could read because I brought a book but I have to move once every 3 min because of all the caffeine and sugar I’ve had so writing has more appeal. I’m going to listen to my music because it may calm me down. WOW this sounds so square. What should I think about? I wish I lived in England. They have so much culture over there. Great musical history and landmarks, plus it rains a lot. I love the rain, rain and green fields. I’ve never been there but I’d like to go. I also like the Phantom of the Opera. For some reason the song I’m listening to reminds me of it. “Tainted Love”… Why would that remind me of the Phantom of the Opera? But yeah that’s a good musical, not as good as Yellow Submarine but close. Is Yellow Submarine a musical? Can cartoons be considered musicals? I’ll need to look into that. Oh! I forgot! I need to find paper towel. *Looks under desk and conveniently finds paper towel.* Well there’s one thing that went right today. Unlike the thermostat incident *Glares across room in general direction of thermostat*lol…. Something I find funny is guitar faces. Well actually sax players’ faces are funny too. In my guitar class this one guy plays with his tongue hanging out the side of his mouth and his eyebrows furrowed as if in deep thought (which he never has or will be), bobbing his head with every down stroke. I’ve been told I look totally spaced out/ high and my eyes totally unfocuse…. But that only happens if I have the piece memorized. If I’m reading it then I apparently stare at it and don’t blink at all. Guitar faces are weird. Sax faces involve a lot of eyebrow movement and eye blinking/ squinting. I love watching someone who’s really passionate play an instrument, it’s amusing. LMAO!!! I’m one to talk; I look amusing without an instrument. Wellios, it’s 4:25pm and there’s no one here…again… which is truly funnier? Sax faces or guitar faces? I’m going to need someone else’s opinion on this. Which I normally don’t need cause I’m an opinionated person, so if I get other peoples opinions I form more opinions and then we have an excess of opinions and something explodes *Sings along to Killer Queen* I think I need more coffee… this will be my 6th. No wait I have to boil water first. Oh, yay The Logical song. For some reason I feel I can totally relate to this song, I also think it’s masterfully written. It makes so much sense…. I want dinner….sorta. AHHHHH!!!!!!! THE GROUND IS SHAKING!!!!!! That’s the 6th train today… so irritating. Why won’t it stop snowing? It’s like something or someone wants me to be depressed. I want to go home, but I don’t want to walk. Roger Hodgson has the voice of a male angel… its very gorgeous. I wonder how he sings so high. Could be a unic but I doubt it. In conclusion I think he has a lovely voice. I wish I could fly, I honestly do. That would be so awesome….or you could be like wonder woman and have an invisible jet. Yeah that would be cool, costly, but rad. Now for my closing thought I would like to state… AMANDA IS A FRUIT!!!!!!!!

So yeah that’s what I do at work all day… and if you’ve ever wondered what’s really going through my mind (although I don’t see why you would). That may have answered some of your questions… and created so many more lmao.

So this is Christmas

"And so this is Christmas, and what have you done, another year over, and a new one just begun."

~ Happy Xmas by John Lennon and Yoko Ono.

Now those were some enlightened people. That's exactly how it feels. What have you done? There's not many people who can come up with a good answer to that is there? I mean sure you've accomplished a few things, and yeah you may think that you've changed the world even, but in hindsight you're just another person who thinks they've done the world some good... not saying that you haven't but I mean honestly we're all gonna die eventually and when we do, well you can't take anything with you. The true meaning of Christmas is lost. It's so commercialised that we've distorted the perception of today's' youth. They think it's about getting... I want, I want, I want... but really it's about giving and being with family and friends. Put aside your selfishness and just concentrate on being in the moment. Enjoy your time here cause it fades fast.

And that was my Christmas rant. You may or may not agree with me. But that's how I see it... and I mean if you think about it... it's true.

On that note I wish everyone happy holidays, for whichever faith or religion you may come from... Love thy neighbor, and peace on earth...etc

La Dernière Nuit De Ma Vie

C'est la dernière nuit de ma vie
Quand le soleil élevera je serai mort
C'est la dernière nuit de ma vie
J'espère que la nuit sera court

C'est la dernière nuit de ma vie
Il y a un trou dans mon coeur noir
C'est la dernière nuit de ma vie
Je serai mort à la fin de ce soir

C'est la dernière nuit de ma vie
La morte va arriver en l'heure
C'est la dernière nuit de ma vie
Dans mon âme il y a du bonheur

C'est la dernière nuit de ma vie
Le soleil est sur l'horizon
C'était la dernière nuit de ma vie
Je suis morte pour n'importequel raison.

Blissful Confusion

When you close your eyes,
Is anything really as it seems?
Is there anything real?
Or is it all a work of fiction?

When you sleep
Are you really sleeping?
Or is that the real life you live
And consciousness is but a nightmare.

Why are they called “moon beams”?
When they are just refracted rays from the sun.
Where do broken dreams go?
Do they just vanish? Like mist in the wind.

When do we have the time?
To ponder the meaning of life
And drive ourselves into insanity
With our greed and ignorance

Who are to say what is right and wrong?
When there are many opinions on the topic
And why must the innocent pay
For the flaws of their past ancestors

What is the answer to the inevitable question?
“Where has the peace and love in the world gone?”
Why would man kill his brother?
What is to be obtained by the death of another?

How come wishes are made upon stars?
There’s a chance that star isn’t even real
Why must we sit back and look at ourselves?
To find our true selves, which aren’t even there?

The simple confusions of the world
Present themselves in unexpected ways
And as sleepers awake, I can’t help but think
Do they truly understand? Or are they living in blissful confusion?

Life

Float upon a water lily
Head towards the sun
Release a cry of agony
Carry with you a gun

Transform into bright energy
A beauteous light
The gift to be joyously free
For those of true insight

Wander aimlessly in circles
Try to find a path
Attempt to buy the miracles
Feel the terrible wrath

Time begins to darken and fade
The fire slowly dies
Done is the pathetic façade
A lifetime in your eyes.

Alone

I ask if anyone is there
I receive no answer
Only a vague sense of being
No one is there

I feel a presence
A ghostly whisper of hope
Why must you torment me?
The blackness overwhelms

A tear falls in front of me
Cried by a single eye
Floating in an indigo aura
Of knowledge I have yet to comprehend

I live in the dark
But am blinded by the light
Of a truth unknown of me
Of life outside of the mask

Life is an illusion
That is only perceived by those it has deceived
Until this the world can recognize
I live my obscure understanding

Alone