Despondency

Whatever have I become?
An echo of my pain filled past
An empty shell of self loathing
Of which destined to succumb

Let my death be my rebirth
And suffer no more my anguish
Cry myself to sleep every night
Struggle against low self worth

Where did the honesty go?
The blissful girl who once was me
The free spirited sincere smile
The one you killed long ago

Why did you have to break me?
I was a tender fragile child
Full of innocence and wonder
Happy to live and be free

Now as tears caress my cheeks
I attempt to hold back a sigh
Restrain the overwhelming cry
And the vengeance my soul seeks.

hehe BOO!!! sneak, Sneak, SNEAK!!!

BANANA PHONE!!!! *Pulls out real live banana phone* You can't be serious! No way! So you had to ask why the dolphins ate your cookie didn't you? You couldn't just let the gnomes get away in your shorts, no you had to ask. Well the answer to that is, the ants got it. You heard me. Ants. Ants in blue and white polka dotted pants, living in plants. Yeah plants. So when the cotton plantations fall from the sky and land in the ocean the world will decide to leave and go on vacation in Hawaii. Then it will change its mind because Hawaii is too expensive and will decide to self implode. So suddenly crackers will become less salty and ketchup shall resume it's regular form of blood dripping from a...I wonder if they have forks on the moon. And if colour isn't more than an illusion played to us through rays of "white light." Haile be thou, quene of maidyns mo! Hit wax gret as odur do!

Why am i rambling on in a confused state? Well I may let you in on a secret. I HAVEN'T ANY HOMEWORK!!!! Therefore I'm ecstatic!!! I haven't had a night of just sitting around in 3 months...maybe longer. Sure you may think I'd be bored. But in reality I'm not. I'm so occupied with my many pastimes (take that people who say I have no life!) That being bored is next to impossible! So why am I writing this? Cause guess what this is one of my fantastical pastimes! Oh yes, you are all jealous.

'Tis 'tthe 'tbest 'tday 'tin 'ta 'tlong 'ttime!!! YAY the pansies have chased that overgrown mirror away and it hath shattered upon thine teacup! Dunananana BATMAN nananananananana ROBIN!!! I mean BATMAN!!!! *sings* There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold *stops singing* Well someone has been sorely mislead. Have you ever seen water glitter in the sunlight? That is not gold, cause when you try to bite it you won't end doing anything other than hurting your jaw and drowning yourself in the process. If I were a camel I'd live in the post office. So if you ever see a camel hiding in your mailbox give him my regards.

OK I'm done now. I really want to get back to playing my guitar.... I LOVE YOU MY BABY!!!

Been Tied Up

That sounds kinky doesn't it? Ok anyways. Lately I haven't exactly been around to post things, not that there's too many people who read what I write. Between jazz camp (being the loser I am), 15 hours of homework that Saturday, skiing with Amanda, going out to lunch with my grandma, doing 8 more consecutive hours of homework, going to school Monday and feeling lost cause I missed so much, doing more homework to try to catch up, waking up and doing the same thing on Tuesday, Wednesday's misadventure (see Steph's blog for details), and last night's rehersal. I've had no time to myself. As I type this I can't help but think. "I should be doing homework". Yet somehow I stay here, cause yeah I need some time to myself... Where I'm not furiously trying to do calculations in my head, or memorizing scientific terms (cause I'm too lazy to learn how to do it, I'll just memorize the pictures, and answers... I seem to get by just fine like that). So yeah tons of stuff like that. Got report card today. On a completly different topic I also got a huge lecture from my dad. Was that unrelated, I think not. It starts. " Your school nurse just called". I think... riiiiight. So he goes off into this contreversial spiel as to how innoculations are bad, and how there's different risks and crap like that. Then he askes the ever present question. "How was school?" At this question I almost burst out laughing. I hate my school. I actually hate it, but I mean there's nothing I can do about that. So I exisist there for the sole purpose of band. The one class I live for. Well that and English. Anyways I mutter something incomprehensible and then state. "Oh and I got my report card." Then the real lecture began. He takes a look and sighs. "When are you going to get it right?" Now OK. I went down 1%. That's it! Everyone goes down second term! Why should I be an exception? And I mean seriously 1%!!!!! What is that?!?! ( Iwent from 88% to 87% he should be proud). But no, he starts going on about how I have no direction and how I should quit everything including french and just work on school. And then he wants to know what I plan on doing with my life. Meanwhile I can't help but think... umm how the hell should I know? I have pleanty of time to decide. So as I'm getting the 3rd degree from my dad I think of something. Just ignore everything that he says. So just to spite him, I'm going to audition for a part in our school play. And I'll probably get it too. Like last year. Then I'll have a nervous break down. Like last year. I'm looking forewards to this! Anyways I shouldn't write anymore. My dad is still on my case, and wants me to get some dinner and get my homework done *gags*