Wednesday, May 30, 2007

What Happened?

Well I haven't written in a while, but I've been having a hard time of it all. I don't know what's happening in my life, everything is changing far too fast for me to catch up.

I don't know what to do, I'm at a loss for words to even just describe it. My friends are all so distant I love them all so much but I can't talk to them. Whenever I really need someone to talk to there's no one around. I just don't understand what's happening. I'm beginning to hate going to school, hate being around people and just in general hate being alive. It could just be stress, I think. But I'm not sure anymore. I'm afraid of myself, of the world around me and of everyone else.

I just want to exist simply, or not at all. Why do I have to feel this confusion? What's the point of being alive if you hate it so much. I'm so confused. I don't even know if I'm depressed or not. I'm just...here. Existing in a surreal way. Please get out of my rut and leave me be. I don't know what you want from me I just want to be.

Where do I fit in with this grand scheme?

I'm so afraid.

I just don't understand anyone or anything anymore.

There's nothing left.

Bury me in the winter.

1 comment:

StephJP said...

Oh, yeah, make it hard for us to bury you. Tsk tsk Josi, you trouble-maker.

GRAB THE SHOVELS, LADIES AND GENTS! WE'RE OFF FOR AN ADVENTURE!!! GIDDIUP! AIEAIEAIEAIEAIE!

Can't wait for Sunday! See ya there, hun.