Cinnamon Spice Muffin

"Bananas are a lot like traffic lights," said the old man to his son. "With traffic lights green means go, yellow means slow, and red means stop, now you see, with bananas it's the opposite. Green means stop, yellow means slow, and red means... HOLLY EGGPLANT!!! WHERE DID YOU FIND THAT BANANA?!?!?!" At this point the young boy pulls out a red banana, and well you can only guess what kind of mayhem that caused.

If you are reading this you can probably tell reality and me don't get along so well. We are at odds you might say, so I intend on beating reality with a stick and jabbing it with a spork until it either goes away or self implodes. The fact that we manage to exist in the same realm astounds me, but somehow I will prevail, and reality will cease to exist.

I am a cinnamon spice muffin!!! Not a blueberry muffin, not a chocolate muffin, not a lemon poppy seed muffin. Cinnamon spice!!! Just plain old cinnamon spice, got a problem with that? *menacing glare* That's right, didn't think so.

The plutonium of the plum filled gargoyles will inhabit the earth if not carefully monitored!!! And what's more is that they want to hijack all cinnamon spice muffins!!! I'm allergic to plum! What's a poor little muffin to do? I could perform the vanishing act but what fun is that? Although... being a cinnamon spice muffin, I taste pretty darn good *bites hand and chews thoughtfully* Well there's no other way out of this mess.

*proceeds to eat entire self until all that remains is a mouth*

Well, this sucks.